Steve Ballmer and Uncle Fester: Separated at Birth?

Steve Ballmer and Uncle Fester: separated at birth? You be the judge ...

That's Steve Ballmer on the left, in case you were wondering, and then both the original Uncle Fester (as played by Jackie Coogan) and the more modern Uncle Fester as played by Christopher Lloyd ...

Dave Duffield and Bob Barker: Separated at birth?

The great Bob Barker and the great Dave Duffield: separated at birth? You be the judge ...

What I did this weekend instead of Twitter and Blogging

I have been thinking about what to say in this toast ever since Adriana and Jasen told us they were engaged. How do you capture all your hopes and advice, all your memories and dreams, in just a few words?

Every father has fears and hopes. Will my child grow up to be happy? Will I be a better father than mine? Will my daughter love me? Will she do well in school? Will she meet a good man someday? Will she want to have children? Will she enjoy life and pass on a good background to the next generation?

As I look around this room, and see all the love and happiness, all my fears melt away. Jasen and Adriana are such a good match. I've seen them together so in love and so in tune with each other. I'd like to thank Jasen's parents and his family for doing such a good job raising such a wonderful man. Thank you to all the family and friends who came from out of town or even out of the country. Thank you to my mother for showing me how to be a good parent. And to my lovely wife, the most beautiful mother of the bride in history, thank you for all your love, all your trust, and all the wonderful years we've had and will have together.

On a day like this, you also remember all the things that led to this moment. I remember the first time I saw Adriana, the first gift I gave her, the first word she taught me in Korean, the first time I dropped her off at school, the first time I moved her into her own place, her first soccer game, her first flute lesson, the first time I met Jasen, and the first time Emma came to stay at our house. I also remember the first time I saw your mother, how much you helped us when mommy was in the hospital to give birth to Joshua, and whenever we needed anything. You and Jasen are so helpful, open, smart, and positive.

To Adriana and Jasen, I'd like to share the lessons of two decades of a successful marriage. Be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness. Take out the wedding video on your anniversary each year to remember how beautifully you started your official life together. Come visit your old parents often, and feel free to drop off the kids every once in a while when they need to be spoiled a little.

We love you so much, and look forward to many more wonderful memories together. Please, everyone, raise your glasses in a toast to the bride and groom. May you live to one hundred and twenty years in love, peace, and happiness. Mazel tov!